Dr Talia Steed (MBBS)

Holistic Doctor & Yoga Teacher

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The Imperfection of Perfection

Posted on October 18, 2021 at 5:35 AM

There are many reasons why perfection is imperfect.

Let loose on the human psyche it can damage and destroy.


 

Here are the imperfections of perfectionism:

- It makes you constantly look out for faults in things rather than beauty. It trains your eye to scan for flaws, rather than see the bigger picture.

- It stops you from doing what you want to do. If you don’t believe you can do it perfectly, then you believe you might as well not do it at all.

- It causes suffering when you expect things to turn out a certain way and your expectations are not met.

- It causes anxiety and stress related to trying to get everything just right all the time.

- It makes you tired.

- It makes you sad.

- It saps your soul.

- Basically it clouds your perspective of your world through a narrow lens, rather than a broader, all encompassing, grateful framework.

 


So what can we do to halt perfectionism in its tracks?

- Firstly we need to acknowledge what deep down we already know. Perfectionism is an illusion. Nothing ever was, is, or will be perfect. There is no such thing as the perfect job, the perfect house, the perfect partner, because there is no such thing as the perfect person.

- Realise that no one, no even us, can do a perfect job at anything. Rather if we seek to put in our best efforts and surrender the outcome, we can be happy knowing that we have made our best attempt.

- And best efforts will vary depending on what else is going on for us. When we are well, or when we are sick. When we are energised, or when we are tired. When we have time, or when we are busy. If we allow ourselves the flexibility to do things to different standards depending on what else is happening in our lives, we take the heavy pressure and burdens off our shoulders.

- Ultimately by reminding ourselves that we are all human beings and we will make mistakes, wrong decisions and fail. But this itself is perfect in teaching us the lessons we were meant to learn and allowing us to have a rich and meaningful human experience of life.

 

Let go the imperfect perfection and you will be free.


"When I let go of who I am, I become what I might be." Tao Te Ching

Posted on October 14, 2021 at 6:20 AM

The interesting thing about language is its power and influence over our lives, in terms of our thoughts, words and actions.

 

When I reflect on the quote above from the Tao Te Ching, it reminds me of how when we connect the two words “I am” to something, it really cements it into our reality.

It can be from the seemingly trivial aspects of our lives like I am… always late/ always busy, a bad cook, impatient, to deeper issues like I am… ugly/ not good enough/ never going to amount to anything.

 

But the thing about language and its power, is we can also use it to turn things around. Slowing things down in our lives and our minds through the cultivation of conscious awareness, enables us to start to catch our minds at play when they start to overly identify with aspects of our personality. That if we choose to, can become fleeting states rather than permanent realities.

 

Maybe if we even started with today I am… it would be a stepping stone towards shifting the direction in which we are heading, if that direction is no longer working for us. So instead of I am always late, we can say “today I am late”, which can eventually be shifted to “I am on time”.

 

Our internal language has ripple effects on the external circumstances of our lives.

We have the power through our inner dialogue to create a new reality each day. The irony of life is that if we really want those external shifts we need to direct the focus inwards.

 

Each day we have a fresh opportunity to create a new reality.

 

“When I let go of who I am, I become what I might be”. This quote shows us how by letting go of the old outdated versions of who we have defined ourselves to be, we can reach towards our true potential and get out of our own way, in becoming the greatest version of ourselves in this life.

Tired or ALIVE

Posted on October 16, 2020 at 4:30 AM

As a Doctor I see so many patients each day coming in with fatigue, lethargy, apathy and generalised unease. They ask me for a blood test in search of a deficiency to correct, so that they can fix it, quick! and get back to what they have to do, because they are just so busy!

 

The challenge as a health practitioner in a system that has conditioned patients to place their power in the hands of the doctor, look for quick solutions and always seek answers from the external world vs tuning within, is to operate differently.

 

By perpetuating the illusion of "Doctor know's best", the power of the individual is abdicated and the person will ultimately remain stuck. Yes they may get some temporary alleviation of symptoms, but if the core issue(s) that triggered these are not addressed, from a simple cold to a chronic ailment, the body will find a way to resurface it through either recurrence or another condition.

 

So what is the alternative?

 

I believe as a healer my role lies in empowering people with the knowledge and guidance so that they can ultimately make the best, most informed decision for their body. They can start to take ownership for the physical, mental, emotional and spiritual forces at play, taking back responsibility for their health, their true healing and ultimately their lives.

 

With this in mind, contemplating the issue of fatigue, we can start the journey of gaining awareness into the choices that we may be making that are at the root cause of this state.

 

It may be related to things like over scheduling or putting too many demands on ourselves, or there may be deeper issues at play. These could include external factors that are out of alignment, like jobs/ relationships/ living situations or internal factors, like overthinking/ negative self talk or chronic perceived stress.

 

Of course many times we do have a vitamin or mineral deficiency in need of correction, eg: iron/ vitamin B12 or vitamin D, which for some the restoration of levels can make a significant difference, but for others even once these levels are restored, the initial issues persist.

 

Through being courageous enough to face these truths, we are empowered to take back our power and to make the choice whether or not we wish to make the necessary changes to shift the trajectory of our lives.

 

My belief is that a true healer will be someone who can support us on this journey, to reclaim our power, our energy and vitality, and ultimately take self responsibility to recreate our lives.

"I'll be happy when..."

Posted on January 6, 2020 at 2:55 AM

Our brains are naturally wired to delay our happiness.

Waiting for things to be all sorted. Solved. Aligned. Put into place.

When I get that job, that relationship, that holiday, that baby, that house... whatever it is that we think will bring us salvation. Joy. Peace. Freedom. Love. 

But the truth is, as we all know rationally, when has life ever stopped when that milestone arrived? And how long did the joy, happiness and satisfaction that we had been waiting for, last?

Maybe a minute, a day if we're lucky, and then on to the next thing, the next accomplishment, goal, circumstance... Always waiting.

So what if we took an alternative approach.

What if instead of seeking to find all that we desired in these external facets of our lives, what if we chose to redirect our attendtion within.

To shifting our state of perception.

To viewing all that we currently were surrounded by, with fresh new eyes.

It is so normal to want different things, to seek growth, expansion, achievement, but when we place our sense of happiness, safety or security in the hands of anything outside of our self, we can cause ourselves unnecessary suffering.

Look around you. 

See the blessings of your life.

Find the joy in the smallest of things. They are endless and plentiful. No matter what is happening in our outside worlds.

When we shift the lens, we find all that we were searching for. Right here. Right now. In the richness and totality of life as we know it.


Energy Within

Posted on December 5, 2019 at 5:35 AM

We only have a finite source of precious energy.

And it is up to us where we choose to invest it.

Do we out pour it into thoughts of the past- memories, regrets, past jobs or relationships?

Do we let it go into worries, blame, complaining, negativity, fear or doubt?

Feeding stories connected to our wounded selves, out dated versions of aspects that no longer feature in our current life?


Or do we choose a new adventure?

Re-write our story, invest in a dream, empowered belief, loving thought/ word/ deed?

It is up to us to choose wisely.

What do we want to see grow and expand in our life?

Joy, peace, love, connection, vitality?

The choice is ours...

Health Shaming

Posted on October 23, 2019 at 4:10 AM

When it comes to our health, many of us are on a journey to reaching a more optimal state, be it physical, mental, emotional or spiritual in nature.
Sometimes though, we can experience negative experiences with health professionals.
This can leave us feeling worse. Hopeless. Ashamed of our behaviours. Regretful of not taking advice. Or simply feeling unheard.

We can take many things from this kind of experience.
Firstly, we can reflect on the untruths about what was directed towards us.
Realising that everything people say comes filtered through the screen of their perceptions, experiences and egos.
It is not ALL ABOUT US!

We need to take back our power and realise that we made the decisions we did at a time in the past with the information we had at that time. 
In the emotional space we were in at that time.
Maybe we were not ready to face something, or maybe we simply wanted to explore an alternative direction.
And that is OK!

We are responsible for all the choices we make and can feel empowered that even if they were the wrong choices by someone else's standards, we obviously had lessons to learn down the path we chose to embark upon.

Secondly. we can also reflect on the truths of what was directed towards us.
What message from this other person, that may have been delivered in a harsh or unkind way, may actually be what we needed to hear at this point in our journey?
Maybe it is the time to take that advice, choose a different direction and make a change that we have been postponing, yet always knew was somehow inevitable.

The complexities and subtleties of our lives allow us, if we choose to, to develop greater insights and awareness into the way we move through each day here on Earth. Each situation offers the potential for stagnation into old "esky" ways of behaving or choosing new more helpful responses to the circumstances of our lives.

This is where our true POWER lies.
We always have the choice as to how we respond.
It may not seem easy, often it isn't.
But with time, and the cultivation of more space between stimulus and response, we start to become skilled at managing ourselves.
Stepping into higher and truer versions of who we really are.
Letting go of the old.
Opening up and surrendering to the new.
And it is here, in this process of shedding the false truths of our being, we access the freedom we are seeking.

Thriving in life as an Empath

Posted on January 31, 2019 at 10:05 PM

Life as an Empath is certainly a magical experience...

We are blessed to experience highs that can take us to states of bliss, with profound joy and elation, yet can just as easily shift into states of intense negative emotions like fear, sadness or despair, when we take on too much of our surroundings, other's energy, places, society and more broadly the world at large...

So how can we bring some balance, equanimity and peace to our ever colourful, ever changing landscape of emotional experience?

1. BOUNDARIES!

The most important thing we can do is protect our energy field from taking on other people's negative emotions. We are like a magnet for people to offload and share as when they are with us they are not only being truly heard, but validated, understood and healed. Yet we need to protect our sensitive constitutions from taking on too much. From becoming overburdened and exposed to the negativities of life and choice to place our awareness on the joys and beauty, encouraging those around us to do the same. This helps to lift not only our own energy vibration, but that of those around us.

2. Grounding

We need so much time to connect with ourselves, rather than getting lost in the myriad of energies around us. Nature, the ocean, walks, gardening, lying on the ground and planting our feet in the soil, are all ways to centre ourselves when we are feeling unbalanced. Preventatively, the more we can do these things, the less likely we are to reach a state of overwhelm in the first place.

3. Cleansing

Through meditation, visualisations, epson salt baths, crystal healing and immersing ourselves in water, we can rid ourselves of our own and others toxic energy vibrations that attach to all of our energetic bodies. This is necessary as a regular practice to avoid the build up of stagnant energy in our system, that if left uncleansed will eventually manifest as physical ailments and even illness.

4. Expressing what we need

As much as we have the gift of understanding on a deeper level how others feel, it can be very difficult for others to grasp how life must be like as an empath. We are not just connected to our surroundings through our 5 senses, which are also heightened, but perceiving everything through our intuitive awareness, picking up of the minutest of subtleties in every moment. We therefore need to be able to express, without self-judgement, what it is we need. We are ultimately all so different and even within our self from day to day, moment to moment, our needs are constantly changing. The best we can do is to go with the flux of life, let go of our resistance to what is, to whatever presents itself across the screen of our consciousness and to ride the tides of our life journey in this incarnation.

Through these simple, yet profound practices, we can live a life in which we are not simply SURVIVING, but THRIVING and living the life that we know in our hearts we were always meant to live!

Namaste Dr Talia

The illusion of a sensitive soul

Posted on June 14, 2018 at 8:20 AM

So many of us have been told throughout our lives that we are weak because of our sensitive nature. Have been told not to cry, to “toughen up” and have been seen by the external world as fragile, incapable or soft.

But the truth of it is that the strongest of souls, the toughest people I have ever met, are those earth angels that have felt it all. 

When you are blessed with a sensitive heart, you are blessed with the ability to truly feel what another can feel. To connect with others on a heart level, much deeper than the superficiality our collective conditioning tells us is acceptable to engage at. However the more painful side of this is the sensitivity to everything, not just your own experiences and emotions, but the energy of your environment, to sensory inputs and to others emotions. You feel what is said and not said. Sometimes even when the person isn't aware of it yet them self. Everything hits your sensitive heart. And you know, that that is difficult for some people to grasp, which at some point you come to realise is actually ok.

The truth is, when you feel it all, the highest of highs and the depths of lows, your own and others, you are far from weak. You are a warrior. You are strong and courageous. To feel what you feel and be who you truly are, in a world where sensitivity is not commonly valued or nurtured and is seen in a negative light.

You are capable of everything your heart desires.

Time and time again you need to let go of external belief structures around you and tune into your beautiful, sensitive heart.

It is here where your truth lies, and it is here where you will find the guidance you are seeking to support you through this path of life.

It is here that you can connect with what it is you were sent here to do, in this incarnation, in this lifetime. And this is where the work lies. To go within. To face what can be painful to face. To know that you will survive. You can endure. And you were sent to bring your truth into a world conditioned to make you believe you are not enough. You are more than enough! The entire universe lies within each and everyone of our very own hearts.

Don’t let the limitations of our modern world, confine who you were meant to be. We each have the greatness of the universe within us and our potential is infinite…

Diving Beyond Distractions

Posted on June 14, 2018 at 8:15 AM

Men are not free when they are doing just what they like. The moment you can do just what you like, there is nothing you care about doing. Men are only free when they are doing what the deepest self-likes. And there is getting down to the deepest self! It takes some diving.” DH Lawrence

From the moment our eyes blink open in the morning, we are faced with a choice; reach for the phone or take a moment to pause, set an intention for our day, savor the sanctuary of our bed or even simply take a conscious breath... 

It sounds like a simple choice, but that whole moment can set the entire tone of our day.

Will we proceed to have a day fuelled by chores, to do lists, anxious planning for some future event, presentation or deadline… or a day filled with more space, reflection, moments of stillness and peace? Days can so easily turn into months, years and even lifetimes!

Our conditioning and everything about our modern world propels us to choose the first option, but the reality is, despite how fast our world is racing, we do have the CHOICE of whether or not we want to go along for that ride.

I love this quote that my brother shared with me some years ago when I would struggle with feelings of boredom.

I then started to pay attention to how I felt when I followed the path of distraction, be it Facebook, TV, online dating…I would be left feeling drained, numb, dissatisfied and most definitely unfulfilled.

I also started to notice how when I consciously dragged myself away from these things and instead listened to music, did some yoga, spiritual reading or listened to something online, my whole energy state would be revitalized and enlivened.

And that is part of the true path to discovering more deeply who we are and what it is that lights up our inner spark.

We are all so different and the key is to let go of pressures to engage in topics, activities, and pursuits that others find meaningful and instead seek to dive into our deepest self to find what it is that truly makes us come alive.

The expression “killing time” is one that so accurately describes the former state of distractions, where really, time is killing us!

Instead, we can choose to cherish each and every precious minute we have on this beautiful planet, to discover more and more about the unique, amazing being that lies within.

When we take this path, the whole world benefits, as we gain access to a whole world of inspiration and creativity that lies deep within each and every one of us! That is if we choose to dive into the depths…

Channelling your Inner Shakti

Posted on June 14, 2018 at 8:15 AM

Something I’ve been contemplating in my own life recently is the influence of energy in our lives. Whether male or female we all have feminine and masculine energy within, and in different domains of our lives these forces are either activated or can lie dormant or even suppressed. For instance in a male dominated work place, where we may need to be assertive, instructive and make things happen, we need to activate our male energy otherwise known as Shiva, to get things done on a very practical and earthly level.

However when being creative, innovative, exploring our inner self and desires, we need to connect to our feminine energy or Shakti, that allows our softer, loving and empathic qualities to be ignited. For me, connecting within allows me to cultivate a source of energy that otherwise can be dampened or shut down. When we connect to that inner source, which stems from developing an awareness of our true inner self, we can then act in ways that increase our ability to identify and follow our true life’s path.

At any time the power lies within to cultivate our inner Shakti nature. That is, if we choose to access it. We can let go of the search for external circumstances, people or situations to give us that energy, that many of us feel we don't have enough of. Instead, by looking within, we can connect with that infinite supply of Divine universal energy, which is accessible to us all by shifting the focus of our attention.

Everything we need to make us feel content, happy, joyful and loved we contain within our very own heart. This may sound paradoxical to our conditioned mind, that leads us to search outwards for externals to bring us these states of being. For instance the search for the right partner, job, house, city to live in, the list is infinite…. Our society and culture constantly bombard us with messages that support this idea. The messages all around us suggest that to be happy and fulfilled we need to follow some pre-ordained path of meeting the right partner, settling down, getting married, having children, buying a house, finding the right job etc etc….

Whilst this may be the true path for some of us, parts of it or even none at all may be right for others and it is so important that we cultivate an awareness of these societal expectations, so that we can make conscious choices as to what feels right for us.

And this is where the work lies. If we truly want to live a life filled with joy, vitality, contentment and peace, we need to look within and discover what it is that our heart truly desires.

When we connect with and channel our own inner Shakti, we feel more alive, more passionate, more invigorated and excited about life. We can understand the desires that lie within our very own heart and can cultivate acceptance for whatever it is that we may find. Then it is up to us to take responsibility for our own state of being, and do the things that perpetuate these feelings within us. At the end of the day, the choice is ours to make. For a life that makes us feel that spark and joy of being alive, we need to each and every day make the decision to seek this from within. By accessing our Shakti nature, we can connect with our inner light, letting it shine out brightly becoming a source of vitality and joy in the world.


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