Maintaining Boundaries with an Open Heart
Many of us, throughout the journey’s of our lives, at some point come face to face with the lesson of boundaries. Whether this comes from being raised in a family where a lack of boundaries was the norm, or the opposite in which solid emotional walls were in place, finding the middle ground can be a long and winding path.
Like anything, the pendulum swing can often feature, when we find ourselves taking the extreme opposite position for a while, before we bring ourselves back to centre.
On my journey, for example, I found myself within in the personal domains of my life, functioning with very minimal boundaries in tact. As I embarked on the journey of awakening, of illuminating aspects of my personality that were no longer serving me, I came to see that I needed to construct these boundaries to better function in the world.
Yet in my attempt to put these in place, I found myself swinging past centre point to the opposite position, developing solid emotional walls. Perhaps a necessary part of the shift to finding the middle way, but an equally unhelpful position.
Through this experience, some very dear friends who were very close to my heart, experienced me in a way that was abruptly different from how I had been before. Where had I disappeared to? At the time this was a necessary shift in being able to find my centre point, but unfortunately this came at a cost to these friendships.
What I hadn’t realised, was that in this process of finding the balance point on the boundary seesaw, I had not only placed up firm solid boundaries, but in attempting to empower myself, I had closed off my heart.
So you see we need to find our middle ground with placing boundaries within the relationships in our lives, all the while maintaining an open heart.
The two are very different.
Ultimately when we can find a way to keep our hearts open, whilst maintaining our personal boundaries, then we can simultaneously cultivate heart-felt connections with others, all the while respectfully honouring ourselves.